What have you been the most naive about?

wow! BRAVO for your putting it right out there, my friend

Some thing I am struggling with also. So far I think the difference is in the intent. Do you, or the other person, want sex for your benifit or the benifit of your partner? The way to make love is with two people dedicated to learning how to please the other mentaly, physicaly, and spiritualy. Another way to get around lust is to bring your Higher Power (what ever you worship)into the sexual relationship. Ask the question, how does my sexual relationship better serve my Higher Power? Other than immediate pleasure, what good will come from my sexual relationship?

Tadhead………

Wouldn’t you want to decide to be sexual because you ALREADY see value in that exchange then HOPE value comes later? Just a thought

as much as i would LOVE to argue against your point, Ash, i am inclined to agree with here. But only becuase that IS reality when it comes to a spontaneous situation with the sex involved. i’m sure we could all argue the pros & cons of such an attittude, but, hey, who of you stands with the “I’d never” attittude with that there? Me? I’m (contwently) married, & value our relationship FAR too much to jeopordize it with such. And i respect and LOVE Stpeh too much to go there. But, that’s getting off on a tangent there. point is, yes, intent IS MY desire in ALL things (i’m BIG on “Intent, NOT content). What I HAd typed first but somehow didn’t make it onto the blog comment of mine earlier, is that i believe the difference between lust & love is that lust is about taking, gain for self, where as love is about giving, doing for another with taking one’s one self gratification entirely out of the picture.

That is exactly what I was trying to say, richDuck, thanks for putting it so simply.

Ash….I definitely want to be sexual and I see the value from my standpoint, but when another person is involved it is not enough to HOPE value comes later. Hoping is the start but action must take place for the hope to become a reality. Sometimes the action can be as simple as communicating but sometimes it gets complicated by the other person not really knowing what they want or what is good for them in the long run. The differences between male and female and between person to person complicate things even more but hey, if it were too easy it wouldn’t be fun.

Much Love Ya’ll!

You asked…….only i knew more about the difference between lust and lovewhat makes a loving sexual relationship?

To me it’s real simple: the intention of the hearts involved.

so beautifully put, Alluya!